Land administration
Social studies
Land administration
Social studies
Land administration
Social studies
Land administration
Social studies
Land administration
Social studies
Land administration
Social studies

FML, get me out of here and on the beach with my best friend.

I love you, I love you
to the moon and back
I will always love you

Though there is a coldness in your eyes and a negligence to your touch, my heart still explodes from the feelings I have for you. And I fear so much that you’re slowly loosing the love you had for me.

That is most likely not the case and I’m probably just being paranoid. And so if it’s not me that you’re loosing love for, I can easily notice that you’re loosing love for yourself. And it breaks my heart because I see so much wonderful in you. I’ve put you on a pedestal many times before and sometimes I still do. Your maturity level ASTOUNDS me. And you’ve got the kindest personality I’ve ever encountered in my life. I have never seen you intentionally hurt anyone or anything. You are an amazing person, you’ve even helped me become the person I am today.

I wish that was enough for you to feel more at peace with yourself. But I know it’s not. You’re facing a murky point in your life right now, which I completely understand. I’ll be patient. Because I love you. I see a future with you. I know you’ll get out of this rut eventually, cause you’re an intelligent human being with a heart of gold. You deserve so much happiness and fulfillment in your life, and that very fact makes me believe that you will be  content again and fulfill your life’s intent.

I hope we keep each other for as long as possible. Because I believe we have something really special that isn’t worth throwing away.

I envy the true Buddhists of this world, for there is no void that they wish to fill. They are fully mindful of the fact that everything is impermanent. They just take things as they come and go, day by day, hour by hour. No harmful thought picks at their brains like a fingernail to a scab.

Why is it so hard for me to reach that point? I am happy enough and more than fortunate. But it’s impossible for me to get rid of desires that I know will only add more thirst to the dehydration that is my life. I can’t sit still in this blessed apartment without feeling this inner black hole sucking me dry from the inside out. And so I worsen this smokers cough with nicotine sticks, after using cleaning or television as some sort of therapy.

I’m always contradicting myself. I want a future, yet I believe that I won’t live past the age of 30. I want to loosen my attachment to all things and people, yet I keep wanting more things and wanting more from people. And I hate chasing capital for 40 hours per week, yet I accept a promotion that is going to make the chase harder but apparently more worth it.

I just don’t know anymore. All these things I’m doing with my life are honestly just ways of killing time. Killing time until my demise. That is the only reason I can come up with for this so called fucking life.

How sad is that?

transient-high:

So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, comformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. 

-CHRISTOPHER MCCANDLESS

May long 2012 (Taken with instagram)

Navi <3 (Taken with instagram)